Rilyn Grace Elkins

I'm a little late at blogging about our precious Rilyn Grace, but I think I have a great excuse...Rilyn takes up most of my time :) Rilyn is now 3 months old, so I decided it is time to sit down and write something. I'll do my best to catch you up on her life up to now :)

Rilyn Grace. The name Rilyn was her Daddy's idea. Mommy really liked the names Riley and Jordyn and Todd wanted something unique. So, he combined the beginning of Riley and the end of Jordyn to come up with Rilyn. (We later found out it is a pretty popular name in Australia). At first, I wasn't sure what I thought of it, but it quickly grew on me. I now think it is just the right name for our little girl; unique, cute and a little spunky. We decided on Grace for her middle name because we wanted a name with meaning, sort of like a dedication of sorts. Grace seemed to be perfect..here are some definitions of the word:
"Beauty, physical, intellectual, or moral; loveliness; commonly, easy elegance of manners; perfection of form"

“The exercise of love, kindness, mercy, favor; disposition to benefit or serve another; favor bestowed or privilege conferred."

“The divine favor toward man; the mercy of God, as distinguished from His justice; divine love or pardon; a state of acceptance with God; enjoyment of the divine favor.”

Pretty amazing word, right? We pray our daughter will be full of grace in every sense of the word, but mostly that she would embrace the incredible, undeserving, life-changing grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Rilyn was born on August 22, 2011 at 11:22pm; one week late. She weighed 7lbs exactly and was 19 inches long. I went in to the hospital for a check up and they ended up deciding to induce me. 4 hours later, Rilyn's heartbeat was dropping dramatically and they informed us we would have to have a C-section. I wasn't too excited about it, but ultimately wanted our baby girl to be healthy.  2 hours later, our healthy Rilyn Grace was here...and our lives forever changed. Hearing her cry for the first time was as precious a moment as everyone makes it out to be :) Here is one of her first pictures

I feel like I could fill up pages and pages about these first 3 months with Rilyn. Instead, I will try and hit on a few highlights.



2 month photo

  A common question we get is, "are you getting any sleep?" YES, we are!!!! We have a baby who sleeps like her momma. :) Currently, at 12 weeks old, she is sleeping 9 hrs at night and I am LOVING it! We aren't using any tricks, she just likes to sleep and we are thankful.:)

Rilyn has started smiling a lot and sometimes we get some coo's and ahh's. She is already a daddy's girl, smiling and lighting up when he walks in the room.


Our sleeping beauty :)

Rilyn has been to more than her fair share of soccer games having been born right at the beginning of her daddy's soccer season. She does great at the games...mostly sleeps through them. Here are a few pictures of her ready for the games.




Her very first Puma sweatsuit :)





"I've got my uniform on, Dad! Put me in!"
(Don't worry, she has a Westmont one as well)



Here is a picture from Halloween: 

It's hard to put into words how I feel about life with a baby of my own. It's fabulous and frustrating, rewarding and exhausting, hilarious and hard, some days are so fun and some days are boring. I love being at home with my precious Rilyn and at the same time I have moments (okay, maybe hours) of wishing I was anywhere but at home with her. I don't know if it's acceptable to say that about your own daughter, but it is me being honest. I'm surprised by the range of emotions I feel while learning this new role. They don't seem to make sense. I've always wanted to be a mommy. I've dreamed of this stage of life. and in my mind I thought it would, of course, be hard but that I would absolutely LOVE being a mom. Well, some days I don't. And that has been difficult for me to come to terms with. I feel like a bad mom for having those thoughts. (and the guilt only gets worse when people ask "isn't being a mom the greatest thing ever?") But then I turn around and see this face looking at me

and I melt. and think, ' I LOVE this! Being a momma IS the best thing ever!'
Like so many things in life, I feel like motherhood is romanticised and thus little girls grow up to be moms with unrealistic expectations and then guilt for not having warm fuzzies all the time about being a mommy. It's hard. I'm learning that its okay to not enjoy every moment. It's normal, and I think healthy, to grieve the life left behind when I became a mom. I miss simple things like going to bed when I want to, eating my dinner when its hot and without trying to rock a baby at the same time, driving with two hands (rather than one holding the pacifier in the mouth of a crying baby), taking as long as I want in the shower....etc. etc. etc. It's a lot. You give up a ton when you choose to be a mom. and yet, knowing what I know now, I'D CHOOSE IT AGAIN! in a heartbeat. See, the emotions seem to conflict.

Our pastor talks about embracing 'inevitable tensions' in our faith. Instead of ignoring the hard topics that we might not be able to fully understand, we instead embrace them, trusting that God is in control of it and has our best in mind. I like to think of my conflicting emotions as 'inevitable tensions' of mommyhood. I don't understand how I can love being a mom and not love it in the same moment...but at times I do.  I can't explain it....so I will embrace it. and trust that this is where God wants me.

And other times I can't believe the life I have. Staying at home with this sweet, girl all. day. long. seeing her smiles, and coo's, holding and rocking and watching her sleep so peacefully, kissing her tiny toes, and chubby cheeks. ahh...I love it! My precious girl has brought so much joy and love into my life. I am SO thankful for this gift of Rilyn Grace!

And one last thought.... Mom, THANK YOU! I never realized all you sacrificed to be such an amazing mom. Thank you for the great example I have to look to!





My lovely mom :)